Thursday, July 27, 2006

Late Night Funnies...

For July 26th, 2006 here is what they said...

"Another day in the Middle East. Obviously the cease-fire fell through, talks fell apart, they lasted about two hours. Even the O.J. jury managed to meet longer than that." --Jon Stewart

"You know Ann Coulter? She was on CNBC today and she said 'Bill Clinton is gay.' Please, just because she's the only woman on the planet he wouldn't have sex with doesn't make him gay." --Jay Leno

"How 'bout that Saddam Hussein? I'm beginning to think the guy's wacky. He announced that if he's found guilty he would like to be shot. Sounds like a job for Cheney." --David Letterman

"A Tomahawk cruise missile fell off a truck in the Bronx this week. A cruise missile, isn't that unbelievable? You know what that means? There are now more weapons of mass destruction in the Bronx than there are in Iraq." --Jay Leno

"AT & T said in the second quarter their profits increased by 81%. So apparently, the government is paying them to listen to our phone calls." --Jay Leno

"Condoleezza Rice was in Rome and she visited the Vatican and all the priests were very happy to see her. And everybody kept asking her 'What's it like to be celibate?'." --David Letterman

"President Bush met with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki and he spent the first hour trying to pronounce Nouri al-Maliki." --David Letterman

July 25th, 2006

"That's how it works these days. Troubled areas of the world, like the Middle East, they get American humanitarian aid. Untroubled areas like India -- they just get American jobs." --Jay Leno

And then there are pictures...

Absolut Corruption.. In auniquely Murikan Flavor.. distilled in one rare blend for murikan sheeple..



Department of Porcine Transport


Drummer Boy!


19 comments:

Ameet said...

These are too funny. I haven't watched Jay Leno or Letterman in ages.

Eli said...

Note to self: Do not get reincarnated as pig.

Keshi said...

hahahah @last pic!


**He announced that if he's found guilty he would like to be shot.

on a serious note, out of compassion I really feel that (even tho SH is a loser) just let him die the way he wants. Cos he's gonna die anyways so how does is matter if it's thru hanging or gunshot?

Keshi.

Aditi said...

All pretty funny, where do u find these pictures

Dadoji said...

The David Letterman Vatican comment is priceless.

Mr. J said...

"How 'bout that Saddam Hussein? I'm beginning to think the guy's wacky. He announced that if he's found guilty he would like to be shot. Sounds like a job for Cheney."

I hope Cheney heard it.. Lol!!! ABSOLUT (ly) funny ;)

karmic_jay said...

Ameet .. Thks. I haven't watched either, there is a site that puts them up. It's too late for me to be up and watch them anyways.

@Eli.. Yes that and you don't want to grow up on an industrial hog farm do u?

@Keshi.. I agree. SH is headed to the gallows one way or another.

@Aditi, Thats a secret ;)

@Dadoji.. I think Letterman is better than Leno too.

@Me.. I am sure Cheneykins would love to unload in SH's face.. he has experience after all. ;)

M (tread softly upon) said...

*lol* Excellent. I just love the Tonight show with Jay Leno. The fact that it comes on so late now that I've moved to the east coast makes it very hard for me to catch it on a weeknight. I have to wake up at an unearthly hour. The only time I get to watc it is on fridays that is if I'm not watching a movie.

karmic_jay said...

M.. thanks. Maybe you could TIVO it? Also I am never sure when they have repeats.

Aditi said...

u know i just got the cheney joke.. hehe god i am slow today.. finally it makes sense

karmic_jay said...

@Aditi.. it's ok.. No one does slow like me ;)

Id it is said...

Hilarious! We all need a laugh after all the depressing goings on around the world. I especially loved the "Absolute Corruption" bit! It's heady alright!

Agarwaen Mormegil said...

i find john stewart to be more funny than both leno and letterman. leno comes second.
watched stephen colbert grilling rep. wexler (D) of florida's 19th district? colbret made him say that he likes company of prostitutes and cocaine. saw the video. fell off my chair laughing.

karmic_jay said...

Jon Stewart is funny yes. As for Colbert making rep. Wexlers say that. It was a joke. Colbert did a part 2 to that. Later..

Cacophoenix said...

Your take on the Blair, Bush Conferance? I actually liked a bit of Blair's speech on how he explained the terrorists organisation and their modus operandi. He talked sensibly and intelligently as opposed to being constantly repetitious and giving the same answer for all questions.

karmic_jay said...

Cacophoenix.. One may disagree with Blair, but he can talk coherently unlike Bush. He is smart and articulate.

Shrub on the other hand speaks in stupid short sentences.. freedom good, they are evil they hate freedom..
rinse and repeat..

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