Monday, August 14, 2006

Been Tagged...

Chandni tagged me so here goes...

I am thinking about
finishing up this tag and the post. Been a long day, not much of it left. Day begins early so gotta get me my zzzzs.

I said…
to *A* how lovely her hair smelt. She had stopped by to say not to make it too late, and even with my crappy olfactory sense I could tell.

I want to…
try a different kind of ice cream/gelato over the next few weeks or whatever is left of the summer. I also want to visit a different country every year. That has not happened so far. Given the small amount of vacation and the need to go see parents and family in India, this seems to be hard to do.

I wish…
more Americans would vote and also pay attention to how their rights are gradually being undermined by this stupid administration.

I hear…
a lot of conversations around me. Yet I only hear when I really want to, I am able to just shut it all off whenever I feel like it.

I wonder…
at times where I fit in, you know like in the larger scheme of things. I also wonder about my mind and how it can wander and be at several places at once. I think I am a truly restless soul, something that the routine of my life masks pretty well.

I regret…
how I put my foot in the mouth sometimes, says things that might hurt without meaning to and realizing it the split second after I say it.I am getting better at avoiding this though.

I am…
not always opening up completely on my blog. I am not sure I want to, people must notice the lack of truly personal posts, but that is by design, although I wish I had a second blog that was anon and could not really be linked to me.

I dance…
only when drunk and I hardly ever get drunk cos i get sick, if I drink too much. Ya, I know I am missing out on something in life here.

I sing…
without any reason, but usually when I am on my own and it's pretty rare.

I cry…
when I see my parents every year when I visit. Parents are truly altruistic aren't they? The things they did to help get me n sis to a point in life where we could be on our own were not easy given how hard things were. It's also hard to see age and time catch up with them. I cray when I see Gandhi or Schindler's list. The HBO series band of brothers also leaves me with a lump in my throat.

I am not always…
as cool as I look, still waters run pretty deep. But there is an inner strength in me, that I don't focus enough on or give myself credit for.

I make with my hands…
ice cream for one, and I cook regularly. I find it relaxing, and it helps *A* with her hectic schedule so she does not have to worry about "whats for dinner" when she gets home. On days that she feels like cooking, I am the sous chef, for she clearly is the master in the kitchen that is. ;)

I write…
but very rarely real letters to people. But they often go unanswered, my letter to dad never got a response although he recieved it. Although thats my dad, he has always had trouble articulating how he feels towards us or even mom. So I wrote to him about how I felt about all that he had done to help get us thru life and how I felt about it. All I know is I have had my isues with him in the past when I was younger and less mature. Now after years away from him, with him alone in India with my mom, I would rather not dwell on those differences. It must be hard for him to care for my mom who is not in the best of health always. I don't expect him to reply and I tell myself it's ok though maybe somewhere deep inside me, I wish he had replied or said a few words. We often don't reach out to each other as we should for whatever reasons we may have, but we have to lest that momet just pass us by.

I confuse…
my brain when I eat less. Here is what happens (happened at least 6 times). I don't eat lunch ( a piece of fruit maybe or a bagel), so when I leave work, I snooze on the light rail. On a day that I eat less I often dream of food and imagine eating in my dreams. I have caught myself opening my mouth and closing it thinking I am eating. There is just one cycle of this..opn and close. It happened today, I imagined I was biting in to a sandwich. I wonder what the other commuters might think if they saw this? LOL. wierd..but true.

I need…
a good night's pretty much everyday. For me that is 5 hours with my long commute and workday. I also need my daily workout, a 30 min session in the weight room downstairs does wonders for me and provides me the second wind that lets me get thru the evening.

I am going to tag 3 others, but if they do not want to pick it up, thats fine.
I tag

Aditi

Keshi

Starry Nights
Tomorrow I will try to do another tag that I promised. Sorry about any typos.. I am too tired to spell check. :)

Picture of the day...
The Smell Is That Strong Huh?

15 comments:

starry nights said...

Jay..thanks for the tag. you have been tagged also. I wish people would vote also. we need a change in administration. I think it is so cool that you like to cook and have dinner ready when "A" gets home. It is really refreshing to see that. I am sure Your dad knows how you feel .sometimes older folk dont know how to express themselves like we do.They are from the old school where they were taught not to show any emotion. Sometimes I think that is what happens in my home also. You should try and take some time off and go to see your parents.I am sure it will make them happy and you too. Dont have regrets. I know we all do. take each day at a time.

Aditi said...

Nice Tag
I will pick it up soon.

Dadoji said...

That's very well written. Shows glimpses of what you would like to write but don't.

I think and hope your dad opens up to you when you visit him next.

> how lovely her hair smelt
This is amazing. Just yesterday I was purchasing a particular shampoo take back home and I remembered how it mesmerises me everytime I notice the Saint use it. It then reminded me of something a buddy of mine had said years ago when we were both in junior college and coming to terms with our ideas of love, romance and sensuality. Maybe I will write about it someday.

karmic_jay said...

@Starry nights, thank you for your kind words. I agree I have to try to spend more time with them when I visit them again.

@Aditi.. thanks

@Dadoji thanks. My dad is nto gonna change, thats just how it is. :)

Shitrint said...

hmm...i kinda relate to this post of urs...and really liked it..a lil personal post this time! normally u write abt Bush and politics and i am not much keen on following or reading politics and diplomatic affairs...so this was a nice change.

i feel the same way as u do abt a few things, abt my parents and shutting conversations arnd us, abt where i belong or fit in...abt how restless my mind is too...!!

:D
tc!!

karmic_jay said...

@shitrint..Thanks. I wish I could really write about more personal stuff. I might under a psuedonym.. ;)

I agree with ya am a pretty restless soul..

Wild Reeds said...

Hey Jay,
This made an interesting read. Thanks for sharing.

chandni said...

nice list there :)

Thank you!

karmic_jay said...

Chandni/Wild reeds.. thanks

M (tread softly upon) said...

Hey thanks for the comment on my blog and I'm sorry for not getting around to replying. Have been under a lot of stress lately. And I don't do so well under pressure. I turned off the comments because I didn't want to talk about it. But it meant a lot when a number of concerned people emailed me/ left a comment.
Will be back soon.

Ash said...

Enjoyed reading this!

karmic_jay said...

@Ash... thanks

@M. Take your time. Our best wishes are with you.

Keshi said...

**a lot of conversations around me. Yet I only hear when I really want to, I am able to just shut it all off whenever I feel like it.

Im so that too Jay. My mum sometimes scolds me for not listening :)


aww u tagged me. Ok here I go:


I said...
to M just now to do whatever she wants to do in life...never leave anything for tomorrow.


I want to...
be far away in some isolated beach house watching the stars and sipping warm coffee with a dear old friend.


I wish...
for effortless peace of mind.


I hear...
Music even when it's not playing.


I wonder...
if I'll ever get old.


I regret...
Not being a better friend to Dan.


I am...
a child at heart.


I dance...
to forget.


I sing...
all the time.


I cry...
till I have no more tears.


I'm not always..
as cheerful as I seem.


I make with my hands...
signs for u.


I write..
what's in my heart.


I confuse...
myself sometimes and I usually realise it when it's too late.


I need...
to feel real Love.


Keshi.

Aditi said...

@ keshi
nice tag...I am not the only one that hears music all the time.. good to know

karmic_jay said...

I hear...
Music even when it's not playing.


I guess we are not alone then.. nice tag. I liked it.. thanks for doing those.