Thursday, August 03, 2006

Late Night Funnies...

As ya'll know Cuban leader Fidel Castro underwent surgery. This news among others provided fodder for late night comedy.

"President Bush said today that in the event that Castro does die he has a plan in place to show the Cuban people there's a better way than the plan they're currently living under. Hey forget Cuba, how 'bout showing us that plan. I would love to see this plan." --Jay Leno"As you know the elderly Fidel Castro recovering from surgery in Cuba. It was pretty serious. I understand he was rushed to the hospital on Donkey One. A message delivered on Cuban Television today said that Fidel Castro's condition is listed as stable, which in Communist countries means he'll be dead by Friday." --Jay Leno

"Miami's Hispanic population took to the streets last night to celebrate Fidel Castro temporarily stepping down from power. Way to go America! Our plan to slowly deteriorate his health over the course of 50 years is working." --Stephen Colbert

"Cuban dictator Fidel Castro has checked into the hospital and control of the country has been turned over to his brother. He's turned over control of the country to his brother. In a related story control of his beard has been turned over to ZZ Top." --Conan O'Brien

"Now is the time to invade, America. My proposal is controversial but we've invaded for less. Now I know our troops are tied up in Iraq so here's my plan. We harness the regime-destroying power of tourism. First, we send a fleet of Carnival cruise ships stuffed with battle-fattened early-retired middle-management types, their girth easily overpowering the frail bean-fed Cubans. Of course, there's nothing Americans tourists like more than things they can get at home. So in phase two Marine choppers air-drop an outlet mall. Old Navy, Sunglass Hut. Name brands here, maybe a Jamba Juice, Cinnabon. The Cubans will quickly become addicted to the easy American dollar. Communism will fail. And then we can finally allow Cuba to become a valuable trading partner like Communist China. So, here's to freedom and the Havana Applebee's Cubanos. And what better way to celebrate than with a genuine 'Dominican' cigar. I can't wait until this 'Dominican' cigar is legal." --Stephen Colbert

"President Bush had his annual medical exam this week. The doctors said the president remains in excellent health and is fit for duty. In fact so fit today the National Guard called and said 'So how about serving your time now?'. The doctors said his heart rate, blood pressure and cholesterol are all pretty good. The only bad number is his approval rating." --Jay Leno

Our religious wingnuts are up to what now?

Picture Of Aborted Fetus To Be Flown Over Cleveland

What would Jesus do, you ask, if he were alive and well on Earth today? He'd rent an airplane and terrorize Cleveland with pictures of aborted fetuses. After all, it's much cheaper than feeding the homeless people down below.

As a shock tactic, a national group that opposes abortion plans to fly a billboard-size picture of an aborted fetus over Cleveland beginning Monday.

The Center for Bio-Ethical Reform, which frequently employs such attention-grabbing advertising, hopes to jar people into reconsidering their support of abortion, director Gregg Cunningham said.

He said the banner would be the most graphic picture ever displayed from the air.

"It will be categorically the most shocking we have ever done," he said. "The imagery is so horrifying that I can't almost stand to look at it."

Oy!

Lime Kitty?



Public Transport



Budding Artist..

25 comments:

jhantu said...

Lime kitty :)
Nice

MoDigli said...

I wonder why they are choosing to fly the abortion images over Cleveland? That's my home town, and I'm disgusted by that!

Teri said...

*mutters a few swear words about wingnuts, and then instead chooses focus on the unbearable cuteness of the kitty and the kid with the marker*

Strictly for my friends said...

The second quote by Stephen Colbert is an especially good one! Liked it!

The Lime Kitty was just too funny! My colleague thought the cat looked like a Jap soldier!

Aditi said...

Did it not occur to the national gruop that is flying the picturse that there might be children who see that as well. Yea and why cleveland?

Jordan's Dad said...

So lemme get this straight...

Our religious "wingnuts" fly planes to try and preserve life (whether you agree with abortion or not, that's what they're doing)

Other religious wingnuts fly planes into buildings to try and destroy life.

Hmmm... I'm kinda likin' our religious wingnuts!

karmic_jay said...

Hmmm... I'm kinda likin' our religious wingnuts!

Ahh your true self revealed. So you like the nuts who killed an abortion doctor in NY, Buffalo. Some preservation of life eh.

Nice values to pass on to your kids.

Have a nice day.

Dadoji said...

Next, the nutties will protest against masturbation and insist every woman harvest her ovum on a monthly basis. I mean, after all sperm and ovum are cells that are alive, no?

Manic Street Preacher said...

its complicated.
Our plan to slowly deteriorate his health over the course of 50 years is working.
good idea....;-)

peace..!!
\m/

Raghav said...

some very good stuff there
btw when will america tire of plundering countries ??

Jordan's Dad said...

Ha Jay, that might truly be the stupidest "argument" you ever made (when you're not just cutting and pasting other people's "arguments" into your blog).

Tough to tell these days though...

Have a good one!

M (tread softly upon) said...

I just love your late night funnies. Since I don't get to watch it I can catch the very best over here!
"a national group that opposes abortion plans to fly a billboard-size picture of an aborted fetus over Cleveland" WTF?
@ dadoji *lol* that's just great. may be we should write to the wingnuts?

Ash said...

Lime kitty is so cute!

White Magpie said...

Karmic: You in a bad mood? :)

Dadoji makes a point there...

karmic_jay said...

@ J.. thanks

@ Mo. Don't know why they picked Cleveland.

@ Teri.. :) I know what you mean.

@Strictly ..lol

@Aditi.. well logic not a strong point with wingnuts. Read JD's comments, says it all.

@Dadoji..lol

@Msp..thanks for stopping by.

@Raghav.. don't know. Ask JD, he is the one who worships Bush and his vision.

@M.. thanks. There is a link for the late night funnies on my page. You can read them everyday I think.

@Ash.. thanks

@white.. Not in a bad mood. :)

@ JD.. move along now will ya, go play with your kids or something.

dem said...

JD's wingnuts were wrong about Terri Schiavo, wrong to oppose the teaching of evolution, wrong about the wisdom of invading Iraq, wrong to support torture, wrong to support indefinite detention of prisoners, wrong about limiting stem cell research, wrong to try to limit women's access to birth control, wrong to demonize homosexuals, and wrong to support warrantless wiretapping. What exactly were they right about?

Nothing.

And what does their behavior have to do with 9/11 other than that one of their own failed to heed warnings about the threat, failed to act when the threat presented itself, and misrepresented his administration's ineptitude to the 9/11 commission and the country?

Again: nothing.

But distraction is the only strategy that rightwingers like JD have to keep people from realizing what a colossal failure conservatism has become.

Varsha said...

cute kitty

funny lines you collected!!

Jordan's Dad said...

I guess when you say "wrong" you mean wrong according to you. Good argument!

Well Dem, at least its clear which "wingnuts" you and the Dems support.

(As if we didn't already know)

Good luck with that in Nov.

karmic_jay said...

JD..delusional as always. What's new?

Maya Cassis said...

I recently caught up on an interview of jay leno on the Oprah show as we don't get his show otherwise out here.
He was encouraging charming little kids who had similar talents like his and I thought that was really so sweet...
THe budding artist photo was too good as I have similar ones which i have done to my sister,The masterpiece hahaha
great post

karmic_jay said...

Thanks Maya..

Deepali said...

This makes a mockery of the warning flashed on television about 'mature subject, violence and viewer descretion being advised'. I suppose nothing about aborted foetuses would harm anyone with heart problems or children.

I find all this very disturbing. Fanatics.

Tamanna said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Tamanna said...

wow JD- yours wasn't much of an argument now it is. But I suppose you just love to play the blame game.

dem said...

JD, you are such a typical republican. You refuse to engage in an actual substantive debate (which of my claims did you disagree with and why?), refer to facts as opinions, and distract by moronically equating criticism of your party with support for terrorists.

Your inability to debate reveals how shallow your interest in the actual issues really runs. All you seem to care about is winning elections, regardless of the tactics. I guess the loss of your soul is the sacrifice people like you make when you worship at the altar of the almighty dollar. You must think your fattened wallet is a fair trade for the global wreckage you and your party are leaving your two kids, not to mention the rest of the world.

Why do you even comment here? You contribute nothing.