Tuesday, August 22, 2006

We Always Knew Preznit Was An Oil Man.. But Did You Also Know He Is All About GAS Too?

Err natural gas alright, but not the one that emanates from the earth. From the US News & World Report....

Animal House in the West Wing

He loves to cuss, gets a jolly when a mountain biker wipes out trying to keep up with him, and now we're learning that the first frat boy loves flatulence jokes. A top insider let that slip when explaining why President Bush is paranoid around women, always worried about his behavior. But he's still a funny, earthy guy who, for example, can't get enough of fart jokes. He's also known to cut a few for laughs, especially when greeting new young aides, but forget about getting people to gas about that.

How nice ehh?

Late Night Funnies...

"NASA lost the original film of the moon landing. Did you hear about this? Well, you know, in their defense, they're not exactly rocket scientists." --David Letterman

"Good news. President Bush had his physical last week, and passed his physical. No word on the mental. But the doctors say he's okay, but he might want to go on a diet, because his Body-Mass Index has jumped to 26. On the bright side, his Body-Mass Index now matches his approval rating." --David Letterman

"In a sign of how troubled our world is right now, this year, President Bush decided he's only doing a ten-day vacation at his Crawford ranch which, really, why even bother at that point?." --Jon Stewart

"[On CNN's "Target: USA" segments] What CNN is saying is we're only vulnerable everywhere. The danger is strictly limited to geographic locations. You know, places. We don't want to tell the terrorists what to do. That's coming up next on the Situation Room." --Jon Stewart
"Let me explain something to you about the algebra, if you will, of cable news: Three-year war in Iraq is less than 30-day-old bombing of Lebanon, which is less than explosive Gatorade on a plane, all of which is chickens*** compared to a break in a 10-year-old murder case." --Jon Stewart

"Thousands of Lebanese refugees are pouring back into their home towns, and it seems that one relief organization is stepping up their aid efforts more than any other relief organization. Which group is it? Here are some hints: They're Shiites, they're on the State Department's watch list of terrorist groups, and their name rhymes with 'Lezbollah'." --Jon Stewart

"Oh, sure, you can have snakes on a plane, but forget shampoo and toothpaste." --David Letterman

"A lot of folks are big fans of the planets. Pluto now has lost its status as a planet. But it says it will run as an independent." --David Letterman

"You know whose birthday it is tomorrow? Bill Clinton, former President Bill Clinton. Celebrity birthday, 60 years old. Bill Clinton plans to celebrate the same way he does every year: he'll have a romantic dinner, some dancing, and then he'll go home to Hillary." --David Letterman

An Audience..

12 comments:

Keshi said...

**"Oh, sure, you can have snakes on a plane, but forget shampoo and toothpaste." --David Letterman

HAHAHA! I love that guy!

Keshi.

starry nights said...

I love David letterman. cant have too many Bush Jokes. really funny.

starry nights said...

I also enjoy the Daily show with John stewart. do you watch him?

Ameet said...

The moon landing tapes aren't the only things NASA has lost. Turns out all the footage from the 60s and 70s, 'safely' stored on magnetic tape in vaults inside the Rockies is now gone. Yes, gone. Evaporated. Turns out no one told them that magnetic tapes don't store forever.

Now we'll never know if the moon missions were filmed at the Lucas ranch.

Dadoji said...

DavidL is awesome. Pluto is running as an independent - *lol*

Aditi said...

I loved the pluto comment..
Pretty funny

ishita said...

u know i may not always get the late night funnies...hmmm!! but it reminds me so much of my brother coz wen i wz visiting him, he wld never miss it...

and now that i got him on my mind....:( i miss him!!

Harjee Kapur said...

Sab ganda hai par dhanda hai yeh :)

Teri said...

I thought something about this administration smelled. :)

I haven't forgotten your e-mail - I'll get back to you soon.

Ash said...

Letterman is SO funny!

MellowDrama said...

muahhaha! No wonder I think he is full of hot air. Awesome funnies..

Mona Buonanotte said...

I love that photo!