Thursday, August 31, 2006

Words Of Wisdom

From watertigre...

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car. (Heh, substitute your religion of choice here.)

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

6. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

7. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter is not a nice person.

8. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

9. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

10. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

11. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

12. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

13. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

14. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

15. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

16. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

17. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

18. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

19. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

20. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

21. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

22. If you had to identify, in 1 word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, & never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

23. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

24. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

25. You should not confuse your career with your life.

26. Never lick a steak knife.

27. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

28. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

29. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

30. Your friends love you anyway.

31. Thought for the day: Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

And then there are pictures from the web...

Change Is In The Air

This is not a doctored image, interesting facts and background about Starlings stealing change from a car wash here including more pictures.

Good Dogg!!!!

I think we are gonna make the red bell pepper chutney again and I plan to do some cooking, should be fun.

Enjoy the weekend folks, we have a long weekend here..yipeee!


Keshi said...

hey Jay that was funny lol!

**If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

The best!


Have a good 'foody' weekend!


starry nights said...

That was funny true if you are rude to the waiter then you are not nice.have a good weekend..have lots of fun

rachana said...

hi!!all the lines are amzing!nice read!enjoy the weekend..
loved these...
//Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.//

// By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.//

Ash said...

Cool! Really enjoyed reading that...
Enjoy the weekend!

Aditi said...

All funny.. some were good
enjoy the weekend...its the end of summer

Nagesh Pai said...

Ahh thats a fun read for the weekend!! :-)

Priyanka Mahanta said...

Sanjay, that was a good read and 2 good pics too. So,u r another foodie? Happy weekend and share the chilli-chutney recipe...

White Magpie said...

Ah..This was nice.

One of moi favourites:

The best contraceptive is a glass of cold water. Not before or after but instead.

Have a great weekend..

Id it is said...

Made for some good laughs!

"Your friends love you anyway".

on that happy note...

Sadaf Trimarchi said...

These were great. Thanks for the laugh. Like the pregnant woman one, personally.

karmic_jay said...

@Keshi/Starry/Rachana/Ash/Aditi/Nagesh/Priyanka/WM.. Thanks U2.

@Id it is thanks

@Sadaf.. Thanks

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