Friday, November 17, 2006


I usually don't remember my dreams, but for some reason I remember this one. But I only remember bits and pieces of it.
I dreamt about little "Annie", who is the daughter of A’s recently departed brother. It’s been a year now but the memories are still fresh and the pain lingers.

In the dream Annie’s departed dad was also around. He looked youthful and smiling as he did when his presence graced us here on earth.
We seemed to have a conversation with *A* with Annie around. We were figuring out if we could have the little one come stay with us here in the US.
Was it for good? I am not sure...
I can recall discussions of visas but not a lot more.
And that was about it.

I know she has her mom, grandparents and a whole lot of loving family and friends around her, but in my mind somewhere was a thought that we could just gather her in our arms and shower her with all the love and affection that one reserves for only those that are near and dear to us.
Maybe this dream was a manifestation of how much she and her family are in our hearts.
I might sometimes appear to be distant about some of these things to *A*, but it often is a way of allowing myself to function without getting too upset about things.
How I feel about this probably manifested itself in my dreams when those walls crumble when I am deep in my zzzzs?

I know how I feel about it, cos one day we were on the phone with the little one and she started talking the way only kids talk. I was so overcome at the cruelty and the unfairness of whatever the “powers that be” if there are any thats is, in taking away her father that I choked up and was unable to talk.
I may be meandering here.
This also in a way was my salute to the Friday word that Mona came up with.. "Pain"

And then there was another dream more bizarre and on a completely different track but that’s for another day. It has to do with some ad ;-).

On a more lighter note...

The getaway!

A man walked in to a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

Did I say that?

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer!

In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.

Some of you asked me where I get some of the cool ads and pics. No it is not a secret. The link is here.

Some ads from there..


Sai said...

Dear Sanjay:

I am very certain that *A*'s brother is in your mind and you were thinking about his baby. Life is tragic and you sometimes wonder why such things happen to the nicest persons. Maybe he knows that you and A will always be there for them. He is the guardian angel looking over Annie.

No matter how great life would be for Annie here in the US and I am certain that you and A will provide a nice home for her. I personally don't know if it would be a good idea to take her away from her mom. Her little child might be the only positive thing for her to look forward too. You can help with the visa processes and later when she is old enough to live away from her mother.

About *A* feeling that you might be distant....well I can relate to A. My hubby too cannot express himself and a lot of times I feel that he doesn't care when in actuality its his way of dealing with life without getting upset.

I can totally relate to you and although time does not heal your loss (whoever said that is lying) but you can deal with it in a better fashion.

May God give A and her family strength. It is nice to know that you are there for her. Sorry about the rather long comment.

PS: As always funny ads!

Maggie said...

I would suspect that *A* knows how deeply you feel it, even if she might be confused by your actions sometimes. Overall, the fact that you want to gather Annie in your arms and shower her with love is enough to send that love into the universe and find her. Perhaps you could be there as a male figure for her throughout her growing years, distant or far. This was very touching to me.

Sanjay said...

@Sai.. Thank you for your kind comments, and don't worry about the length of the same. It is much appreciated.

I agree that life is in a lot of ways better for *Annie* in India, the idea of wanting to bring her here with us was in my dream and just a passing thought. You know how it goes when our protective instincts are at work.

Ye men and their communication issues! I actually used to be very good at this so I have to get back to it, not that there is anything lacking with communication as such. But one can always work to make it better.
Again thankyou for your kind thoughts.

@Maggie.. Thanks. I agree. Although we live far away our annual visits and our almost weekly phone conversations coupled with family there making sure they don't forget us helps keep the bonds strong, distance not withstanding.

I also have not told *A* about this dream, but she may read the blog and we may talk about it.

Nancy Willing said...

This is exciting! I hope that you floow up and see what pans out from this emotionally-based plan (my idea of the dream state).

Gosh, you guys would be such a supportive environment too!!

Aditi said...

main ingredient of hashish is horseshit eww...
not to mention that guy working the register was a real piece of work.

About Annie, I think she is lucky to have such caring aunt and uncle to add to her mom. I really think i might be outta place commenting on nething else

moegirl said...

I believe when you dream about people they are in your hearts and mind...the universe, or God's way of keeping you connected on another level.

Love your pics--as usual!

Shitrint said...

nice post!

i have been having weird dreams ever since i hav come back from my trip to the north! i keep dreaming abt nainital and the second class compartment train journeys. now these dreams are not the only things that i see...i hav been dreaming of accidents and calamities happening to my family and frends consecutively for the past two days. and i remember most of it! i am scared coz there are some coincidences with the dream and wats happening or is going to happen in real life...


i wonder if freud can explain this...!

MellowDrama said...

Hi is very very hard to come to terms with a loss - of any kind and I cannot psychoanalyse your dream but I couldn't help but agree with Sai - Annie needs her mum and her mum needs her. For the moment, I guess you will have to live with that. Cheers and hope things look up frm now.